Aging Is Comfortable

Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, “What brings you in today, I looked at her and said, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.” She didn’t quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.

And friends who care.

Tires with air.

Cash to spare.

Love to share.

May you always have.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable. I’ve traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved. I want people to know why I look this way. Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. Aging. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs”

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he knows when he’s really in trouble.

Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, “An ambulance.”

When people see a cat’s litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat” I just say, “No, it’s for company!”

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.