I was the tender age of 5, when my 14 year old brother thought it would be fine to take advantage of me.
Usually he would be in the bath with his loud music blaring from the bedroom, and call me in. He would get me to wash him and he’d do the same to me. This would be a regular thing, because our parents and everyone else would be out the house. I am the baby of 7. Obviously I didn’t know it was wrong. Other times, he would get me out of my bed in the early hours. I’m still puzzled how this happened, without any suspicions from my parents. He sexually abused me until I was 12, and he left home to start a family. I would regularly feel like I was peeing razor blades, where his big hands would be rough with me. Teaching me how to pleasure him, and trying to make it fun. I told my mom when I was 26, and she said don’t tell your dad he will kill him. So I had to shut up. I told all my other siblings, and some weren’t convinced I was telling the truth.
I grew up very promiscuous and drank a lot. I’ve been married 3 times. I don’t know if I’ve ever really knew how to love, or accept love. I would be the loud naughty one at school, a show off. I was so confused how to be out of fight, or flight mode. 5 years ago, my daughter advised me to get childhood trauma therapy. I am so relieved I did, because I carried the guilt and shame for years. Her words were “It’s NOT YOUR SECRET TO KEEP.” I’ve always told my children and friends, my truth. As I said to them, he can deny it all he likes. There are two people who know the real truth, and that is him and myself. If you are a survivor or have suffered, go and get the help, you will feel amazing! It’s very hard to get through, but you will be able to get on with your life, and be free to carry on how you want to. Don’t feel unlovable or shame, the molesters are the sick ones. I hope I can help someone choose to go seek help. Thanks for reading.

P.S. anti depressants made me worse. #TellSomebody

Child abusers, please stop and seek therapy and God.
Parents, talk with and believe your children. ❤️
Survivors, seek therapy. 💪🏽

(To share your story of abuse, message me)
http://www.TellSomebodyToday.com